This post is a reactionary comment about something from tonight's episode of GLEE, and is not a review of the episode- though my thoughts on the episode might come out through the course of this missive. If you haven't seen the 2/21/12 episode of GLEE entitled "On My Way", then you might want to skip this post. There are spoilers...
Tonight's episode dealt with a suicide attempt due to bullying. In summary- Karofsky, the once bully of Kurt because Kurt was gay, was bullied at his new school for being gay and he attempted suicide. I really did like the albeit far too brief reaction of the McKinley High staff and specifically Mr. Shue's chat with his students. I even liked the (again) all too brief discourse between Quinn who "couldn't understand" and Kurt who understood all too well. I do wish the show went deeper on the subject, but that train of thought is for another time.
What I want to write about is what the show made me think about. Signs you're a student affairs professional when you have a learning moment after watching a show based on singing high school students...
I know what it's like to be the new kid in town, to be outspoken, to be a girl who wants to play for the high school football team, to not fit in no matter what you say or do, to feel like there's a target on your back and nothing can get rid of it. I know what it's like to get beat up, to be picked last for teams, to not get asked out by the guy but instead teased by him. I know what it's like to be called fat, ugly, worthless, and a plethora of other equally horrible words on a daily basis. I know the pains of having
so-called "friends" throw you away like a piece of garbage and then be
on a mission to make sure you never forget that you're "not worth their
friendship." I know all too well the pains of being bullied, the severe depression,
and even the thoughts of suicide--the desire to get away from the pain and
not knowing how.
I survived. I survived bullies in different states, of different ages/races/genders/sexual orientations; bullies with different motives but the same end game. I survived, by the grace of god. I'm not a very religious person, but I do believe that god got me through. God is the one who gave me my support system, the strength, and the determination to prove the bastards wrong. Any bullying is unacceptable, and survivable. I am a firm believer that no matter how bad it seems, it truly does get better.
I also, unfortunately, know that I can be mean when I'm trying to get the focus off of me and my pain, and to anyone I have EVER hurt in any way, I can only say I'm sorry.
Throughout the run of GLEE, Kurt has shown his support for Karofsky, and has wanted Karofsky
to accept who he is and love himself. Even when Karofsky was bullying Kurt and "making his life a living hell" Kurt kept Karofsky's secret. Kurt even tried to help him.
I always thought Kurt was strong for that. So what Kurt did in the episode tonight didn't surprise me. I just made me think.
In tonight's GLEE, Kurt goes to the hospital to talk to Karofsky after his suicide attempt. He helps Karofsky envision a happy future-- the dream job, in the dream city, a handsome husband and a son. Karofsky sees what Kurt is describing and sees a promising future. Kurt promises to be Karofsky's friend and help him through the tough road ahead. I'll own it, I cried. I can't imagine being as brave as Kurt. There are people in this world who caused me such pain, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive them. I'm trying, but I just don't know. While I don't wish them dead or harmed, I certainly don't know if I could support them through their troubles. I think the world would be a better place if more of us could do what he did.
I hope that when I grow up, I can be as strong as Kurt.
